UKHamlet's Blog

Why has “yours” in the phrase: “yours is no disgrace” no apostophe? After all, it’s possessive. In fact “yours” is the second person possessive pronoun – it replaces “your” plus a noun. The reason some people think it might need an apostrophe is virtually every other word, ‘s indicates possession, so English speakers sometimes think yours should be spelled your’s. However, this is always incorrect – yours is the only correct spelling.

It is perfectly permissable to punch someone in the face if they’re found writing “your’s” and if they add an “e” on the end as in “your’se” you can kill their entire family. I hope that sorts out that little quandary. Next week, we’re going to learn to use “I”, “me” and “you” instead of “myself” and “yourself”, plus we’ll have a general discussion of the argot of the call centre generation and why a split infinitive could mean a split lip.

The spelling mantra that generations of schoolchildren have learned — “i before e, except after c”, is being abandoned in the UK. New British government guidance tells teachers not to pass on the rule to students, because there are too many exceptions.

The “Support For Spelling” document, which is being sent to thousands of primary schools, says the rule “is not worth teaching” because it doesn’t account for words like ‘sufficient,’ ‘veil’ and ‘their.’

Jack Bovill of the Spelling Society, which advocates simplified spelling, said Saturday he agreed with the decision, but supporters say the ditty has value because it is one of the few language rules that most people remember.

The thing is: the full mnemonic is rarely taught and in fact the ditty is much longer:  “I before E except after C or when sounded as A as in ‘neighbour’ and ‘weigh.’” This is a much more comprehensive rule and while there are still exceptions, they are usually grounded in good historical reasons like, of course, it still doesn’t cover “sufficient”. This is because it is technically different: using the original pronunciation, the i and e form separate syllables, and so are pronounced suffish-ee-ent.

The trouble with and glory of English is that it very difficult to codify. Creating spelling mnemonics is all well and good if you can remember them. I listened to a debate on the radio about this yesterday. They reminded me of how I learned to spell necessary with: “1 Collar but 2 Socks”, and diarrhoea: Dining In A Rough Restaurant: Hurry, Otherwise Expect Accidents. However the latter is completely different to the way Americans spell “diarrhea”, and more of them speak English, than errmmmm…. English people. Continue reading

Oooo... myself....

Have you noticed how call centre people, shop assistants, customer facing civil servants and local government officers and occasionally TV and radio personalities have started using “myself”, rather than “me”, or “I”? As if this were not bad enough, they are also juxtaposing “I” and “me”. The commonest error is to use “I”, because it sounds posh. It’s not; it just reveals the paucity of your knowledge of grammar. So stop it, now. 

These are the very same criminals who use “lesser” instead of “fewer”. Flogging is too good for them, but before I go around beating these low-lives, and probably getting myself arrested, I thought I’d explain in simple terms how to use me, myself and I. Continue reading