Dear England
It has come our attention that recently you have not been participating to the fullest extent in the United Kingdom, to whit you have:
*hogged all the best jobs
*buggered up the economy
*pretended that England = Britain
*forced your royal family on the rest of us
*changed the political complexion of the government all the time when we’d be quite happy with a socialist one
*consistently refused to pay us back for stealing all our natural resources
*and then carped (...)

I don’t really subscribe to conspiracy theories. I’m much more a proof of the pudding type of guy. Although, in my darkest moments, paranoia has been known to rear its ugly head. This usually happens when I find micro-transmitters hidden in the light sockets. My neighbour tells me it’s pretty normal stuff for our area and it is only the District Council looking for evidence of non-compliance with the green bag scheme. He’s a good guy my neighbour, although I’m not sure about his name. I (...)